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Afternoon Tea

I know a woman who collects teapots. Her pots come in all sizes and shapes and are scattered around the house. She said that when she makes tea for company, she selects a pot to match their personality. 

Collectors and Hoarders

I’m a collector. So was my Mom, and so is my grandson. Apparently, collecting may run in the family.

I collect rocks, masks, Native American pottery, and art. Mom collected Wedgwood. When I lived in London for a year, she sent me money and asked me to visit antique shows and find good buys she could afford. My grandson started collecting antiquities when he was in elementary school. Among his treasures are military artifacts from the Second World War. My eleven-year-old adopted granddaughter has her own passion: squeeges. She not only buys them; she makes them. One of my aunts collected glass figurines. She inspired me to collect glass animals when I was a child. I suppose I have been collecting things for most of my life without ever asking myself why.

Then there is one of my friends, who lives at the opposite end of the spectrum. If something enters her home and isn't absolutely necessary or practical, she gets rid of it. Her tidiness has caused considerable anguish among her children, whose treasured possessions have mysteriously disappeared over the years. They have learned to hide some of their belongings behind furniture or under their mattresses. Clearly, we don't all have the same relationship with stuff.

Why do we collect?

Collecting is hardly a modern obsession. For centuries, people have filled their homes with stamps, coins, toys, books, art, antiques, fossils, military memorabilia, and countless other objects. Psychologists have offered many explanations for why we collect. For some people, collecting provides a sense of control and order in an uncertain world. Sorting, categorizing, and arranging objects creates a small universe in which everything has a place.For others, collecting is an escape. The search itself can be relaxing and absorbing—a welcome break from the stresses of everyday life.

Our collections can also tell a story about who we are. The things we choose often reflect our interests, memories, values, and experiences. A collection can become a kind of autobiography written in objects.

And then there is the thrill of the hunt. Finding an unusual piece can turn an ordinary Saturday into an adventure. Collectors visit antique shops, flea markets, auctions, estate sales, museums, and increasingly, online marketplaces. They search for that one elusive object they have been hoping to find. When they finally find it, there is a little rush of excitement: There it is. I've been looking for this for ages. After that, the hunt begins again.

For some collectors, nostalgia is the attraction. A particular object may remind them of childhood, a parent, a grandparent, or a place that mattered to them. Others are motivated by completeness. If you have 47 of the 50 stamps in a series, those missing three can become surprisingly important.

Collecting can also create community. Collectors share information, trade items, attend conventions, participate in online groups, and meet others who understand why a particular object matters. What might look like an ordinary piece of metal, paper, pottery, or glass to one person can be a treasure to another.

And then there is the pleasure of display.My masks are arranged on the wall of my office. About thirty Native American pots sit in a display case in my living room. Occasionally, I take them out so visitors can hold them and appreciate the craftsmanship that went into making them. My collections aren’t merely something I own. Collecting is something I enjoy.

There is another attraction for those who are financially astute: investment. Rare coins, vintage cars, antiques, and limited-edition artwork can appreciate over time. The possibility of making money adds another dimension to the hunt.  Unfortunately, collecting also has a darker side.

When collecting goes too far

I once hired a finance officer who stole money from one of my businesses' petty-cash accounts to buy antiques for his partner. He eventually served time in prison. Another man I knew collected so many chiming clocks that his wife finally had enough and left him. And there are people who spend money they cannot afford because the need to acquire the next item has become stronger than their ability to resist it. That is where collecting can begin to cross a line.

Years ago, my brother had a neighbor who was a hoarder. He saved newspapers, magazines, bottles, string, and just about everything else. The piles became so high that narrow pathways were the only way to move from one room to another.

Unlike most collections, hoards don't necessarily consist of valuable or even useful objects. A person may save things that most of us would consider worthless. Some people buy items in bulk or order things online that remain unopened in their boxes. Eventually, the possessions take over the home—and the person's life.

Hoarding disorder is a recognized mental health condition characterized by a persistent difficulty discarding possessions, even when those possessions have little practical value. The resulting clutter can interfere with the normal use of living spaces and create significant distress or impairment. Research suggests that hoarding has genetic, neurological, and environmental components, but there is no single cause. Information-processing difficulties, anxiety, depression, attention problems, and other factors can play a role.

There is an important difference between having too much stuff and having a disorder. A collector generally takes pleasure in organizing, caring for, and displaying the things he or she has acquired. A hoarder may experience intense distress at the thought of getting rid of possessions, even when those possessions make the home unsafe or unusable. 

Hoarding can be painful not only for the person experiencing it but also for the people who live with them. Families can become trapped between wanting to help and realizing that simply throwing things away doesn't solve the underlying problem. Professional treatment, including cognitive behavioral therapy, can help people make progress.

So, where do we draw the line?

Maybe the difference between a collector and a hoarder isn't simply how much we own. It is the relationship we have with what we own. My masks don't own me. My pottery doesn't prevent me from using my living room. I can admire my rocks without needing to buy every rock I encounter. The objects in my collection have meaning, but they don't control my life. Perhaps that's the real test.

We all collect something. Some of us collect objects. Others collect photographs, books, recipes, shoes, souvenirs, tools, or family heirlooms. Some collect experiences. Some collect memories. Yet some of us collect far more than we realize. Perhaps the question isn't whether we're collectors or hoarders. Perhaps it's what we're afraid of losing.

A collector may be afraid of losing a piece of history. A hoarder may be afraid of losing something that feels irreplaceable. Someone who throws everything away may be afraid of being trapped by possessions. We all have our reasons for what we keep and what we discard. Maybe our stuff tells us more about ourselves than we realize.

Where do I fall on the collector-hoarder spectrum? I'm not entirely sure. My masks are on the wall, my pottery is in a case, and my rocks are—well, let's just say they have multiplied. But I still know where everything is, and I can walk through my house without climbing over it. For now, I'm calling myself a collector. I'll let my children decide otherwise after I'm gone.

References:

Coombe, M. (2018). Thpsychology behind collecting. The Irish Times. Retrieved from https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/homes-and-property/interiors/the-psychology-behind-collecting-1.3519826

McLeod, S. (2016). Collecting as a hobby. Simply Psychology. Retrieved from https://www.simplypsychology.org/collecting.html

Rust, J. (2020). The psychology of collecting and why people collect things. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nostalgia-nation/202009/the-psychology-collecting-and-why-people-collect-things

Pike, J. (2026) Speaking of Psychology: Why people hoard, with Julie Pike, PhD. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/hoarding

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