loving art, science and creative kids

    Sales Unfurling (NFS) 

The picture above hung in my home for over twenty-five years. It was one of the early paintings I did that I particularly liked. I'm giving it to a granddaughter who shared her love for it. What a blessing it is to know a piece of me will be with her. 

Holding on/Letting go

Many years ago, I went to a Philadelphia hospital to say goodbye to a woman who had worked for my parents for forty years. At the time, I lived in Boston, and it had been years since the last time we were together. It was emotional to see her lying prone with oxygen flowing through her nose. In my mind's eye, I still saw her as an energetic force to be reckoned with if I misbehaved. She was a good chef and made the very best fried chicken I had ever eaten.

  Her face lit up when I entered the room and her eyes sparkled as she told me how happy she was to see me. With a little help, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed so we could sit side by side. The only personal items in the room were a pile of photo albums lying on a shelf under the television. She asked me to bring them over, and for the next hour, we flipped through pictures while she reminisced about her life and shared a world I knew nothing about. I saw her house, car, and family for the first time.  She showed me where she went on vacations and how she celebrated Christmas. It was a precious experience and a wonderful way to say goodbye to a woman who helped raise me.

  The experience reminds me of how possessions become minimized. Her life's treasures ended up in five photo albums to kept her company in a hospital room. Her memories and someone to share them with were all that mattered.

  When I survey my home, I wonder how I'll ever be able to let go of the art, books, and souvenirs collected from my travels.  How does anyone get rid of treasures that provided comfort and memories throughout their life? It is not a job for the faint-hearted. Commonly heard quotes, like “bigger isn’t always better “and “less is more,” are aimed at helping people tackle the task.  Humm, I think. I wonder. 

  Downsizing isn’t only for seniors, it can be the right thing to do at any stage of life. Thousands of people choosing to live in tiny homes brag about their low costs and lifestyle that gives them the freedom to pursue other interests. 

  The internet are filled with suggestions on how to go about it; start as soon as possible, focus on one room at a time, consider your new lifestyle, divvy up and give away sentimental items, etc., etc.  But, yuck!!! Easier said than done.

  As a person who spent her adult life in education circles, I imagine taking a course called Minimizing 101. The First Session would be, why downsize? The professor would list reasons to memorize—save money, less to maintain, physical disability, more time for other things, less stress, fewer house chores? Uh ho, what about my lawnmower?  I used to like to mow the lawn. 

  A hand goes up and a student asks, “why bother? If you like your possessions why give them up?”  The professor responds, “so you will feel free to remake yourself, soyour children won’t have to clean up your mess, so your memories can be passed on to people you care about, and  because your household size went from six to two or maybe one. Perhaps a young family needs your space more than you do.”   

  Session Two will be led led by a psychologist to cover emotions."Downsizing is commonly accompanied by anxiety of the unknown," she’d say. "It causes grief, similar to that experienced with death. Getting rid of treasures is a final farewell that triggers the fear of losing memories. Reactions around grief are healthy to go through and they shouldn't be rushed People emerge on the other side stronger and more centered about what matters to them.” I like the idea of being stronger.

  Session Three covers the dos and don’ts of minimizing. Start small, make definitive decisions, expect emotional ties, take digital photos of treasures you are going to get rid of, use paperless billing, find storage space for items to rotate into your new space. I’ll raise my hand. “I periodically change the art on my walls, does that count?” 

“A good practice, the professor will say. Keep it up.”

  Session Four: (perhaps it should be session one) Live with purpose and pleasure. 

This is the big one for it focuses on the future and what you want to do with your days–travel more, bury yourself in work or volunteer activities. Having a purpose makes the entire process easier.

  “Your assignment for next week,” the professor says, “is to consider your lifestyle and what stage of life you’re in. Are you working age, have young children? Do you like to entertain, have an office at home? Then, match your stage and style with the space you need (uncluttered). Periodic purging is necessary to avoid opening closets and having  fall on your head.

  Moving, whether to a larger or smaller space, puts you in a new community where it’s easy to feel lonely and isolated. The best way to make the transition is to get involved in it as quickly and actively as possible. Finding connections and building meaningful relationships will make both you and your neighbors happy. 

  Session Five:  The psychologist will be back to talk about stress. “No matter your age, moving is stressful. There are things to pack, deadlines to meet, papers to sign, rooms to clean, change of address forms to complete, and a million other nitpick ends to tie up. The older you are the more stressful moving is. So, slow down and be patient. Take your time to find a place to move to that excites you. It will make the process of downsizing easier.” I will be told to remember that possessions are not about the stuff, but about the memories. Possessions are the symbols that represent life experiences. Photographing and writing about are other ways to remember and reduce stress. 

  Session Six:  The professor willl say with a warm smile,  “Downsizing  is accomplished more easily when family and friends understand and get involved and make it a party rather than a burial.” Giving items to people who will give them a good home, is fun. Native Americans have potlatches where they give away everything they own. They know they will receive back more than they give.” I hear that passing on my history will enrich the lives of others and bring them closer.. 

  Session Seven:  The professor brings a bottle of champagne on the last day and tells us to celebrate milestones of decluttering, to party at the end. "After tackling a room, pat yourself on the back, go out for dinner, brag to a friend how fantastic you are. When you move into your new quarters invite loved ones and friends over for a visit." An elderly many used to invite me to a dinner party at his senior living center. We'd have a glass of sherry in his room before dinner and then go to a table in the center's dining room with the friends he had asked to join in.

  Your treasures may not travel with you to a senior home. They won’t fit into a tiny house. But, your memories will. You are the summation of your past and present experiences. Photo albums, whether digital or printed, are a way to trigger remembrances, so continue documenting as you leap into your future. 

References:

  website (2017) How to Downsize your belongings & Simplify Your life. Nationwide. retrieved from https://blog.nationwide.com/how-to-downsize-your-belongings/#:~:text=Less%20stuff%20to%20maintain%3A%20With,do%20the%20things%20you%20want.

  website (2021)How to Downsize your Home:10+ Tips to help you Declutter and Simplify.Rocket Mortgages. retrieved from https://www.rocketmortgage.com/learn/how-to-downsize-your-home

Geller, H.(2020) Coping with the Emotions of Downsizing. Elder Care Alliance. retrieved from https://eldercarealliance.org/blog/downsizing-tips-for-seniors/#:~:text=Anxiety,a%20lot%20of%20stuff%20accumulates.

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