loving art, science and creative kids

Standing Tall

Who is the man who stands tall and disregards his neighbors?

Boundaries

Fifty years ago, a wealthy friend had the financial means to purchase the side of a small mountain in Colorado. After a few years, he offered acreage on his land for use under ninety-nine-year leases. The couples buying into his community built luxury houses overlooking some of the most magnificent views in the Aspen area. A stipulation in the agreement was that leaseholders had to get the approval of their neighbors before building. Houses, out-buildings and land use could not impinge on the view or rights of anyone in the complex. Loud music, fireworks, or flashing strobe lights, for instance, couldn’t be installed if they disturbed someone in their mountain retreat. Residents were expected to communicate with each other and get along. 

  I was reminded of this expectation as our country seeks ways to balance the rights of individuals with those in the community.  I thought of what happens with poor social boundaries after I exploded at a stranger who is an anti-vaxer.  I can count on one hand the times that I’ve raised my voice in anger. In fact, a counselor once asked me why I smiled when angry rather than shout. And though losing my cool is not my habit, here I was, unable to convince a window cleaner to trust the government and scientists about the need for vaccinations. So, I shouted that not getting jabbed was like pointing a loaded gun at me, that he made the country unsafe, and that people who believed as he, should be isolated and pay their way when sick. I said that he, a new-age spiritualist who wouldn’t harm a mosquito if it landed on him, put our community at risk.

  How do we live together when our beliefs are at such odds? Unfortunately, too many people respond as inconsiderately as I did to issues in need of rational discourse. Women’s rights, industrial pollution, sleeping on public sidewalks, burning of fossil fuels are but a few subjects raising the ire of my friends. And, there are small annoyances, like high volume leaf-blowers, packing loaded guns, loud partying, and speeding through family neighborhoods. An increasing number of citizens have  thrown away social conventions with the notion that freedom in America gives people the right to act as they please. This belief is reinforced by media pundits who hide the truth and express opinions mimicking what their audience wants to hear.  

  The result is to drift away from science and truth. It creates anger, chaos, and despair. Humankind is left to behave at its lowest common denominator rather than reach high toward perfection. I seems to me that we have lost our minds.

  I suggest reinstating informal common-sense laws that include behavioral boundaries. In Oregon, it was recently decided that a broken auto light, a lapsed license plate, and throwing pop cans from windows are not worthy of jail of steep fines. In several states including Oregon, officers pulling over drivers for a vehicle equipment violation are handing our vouchers to help cover repair costs. Changing the ways rules are enforced can change behavior and keep streets safe. Many libraries, for example, changed their rules and stopped issuing late fees. By doing so, they discovered that more books were returned and more people came to use their computers, behaviors they wanted to encourage.

  If people gather together in their neighborhoods to discuss problems, we would have a different country.  On my street, obnoxious leaf-blowers can be heard until seven in the evening making it difficult to have a conversation outside on warm summer evenings. Since people are so afraid of offending neighbors by asking them to stop by the dinner hour, the practice continues. As in marriage, by saying nothing, resentment builds, blood pressure rises, and neighbors become angry with each other.. 

  My friend in Colorado recognized that the moment people step outside or drive from their dwelling, boundaries are crossed. What they do and how they act will affect others. To live harmoniously, we give up the right to absolute freedom and bear responsibility to those whose paths we cross. We, not the government, need ways to open discussions so we can figure out how to deal with the small annoyances and large problems that face our communities and nation. The boundaries agree upon will never satisfy everyone, for they will involve compromise. But, the outcome may reduce t rising blood pressure leading to road rage, gun violence, and shouting at strangers. And that is good.

Do comment below. It is always wonderful to hear your ideas.

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Art is always for sale. Standing tall is part of a series of abstractions. It is a 12" by 12" acrylic painting, unframed on canvas. Available for $275. contact me at [email protected].