loving art, science and creative kids

 Heaven and Beyond
It is good to be reminded occasionally that we are part of a universe that is in a constant state of flux.

Reluctant to change?

Life is about change, but how do you cope when you live or work with someone with ubiquitous resistance? Their refusal to change can manifest itself in many ways, from foot-dragging and inertia to petty sabotage to outright rebellion. Children, spouses and business associates can become entrenched in their ways because of fear or stubbornness. You me be confronted with a wall of negativity that you can’t climb over. So, when you are convinced that change is necessary, what can you do about it? 

  The best way to start is to understand the sources of resistance that are most likely to occur and then strategize around them. Here are a few I’ve found to be most common.

•  Loss of control. Change interferes with autonomy and can make people feel that they’ve lost control over their territory.
•  Excess uncertainty.  People often prefer to remain mired in misery than to head toward an unknown. They want to feel safe and are more comfortable with the status quo.
• Surprise! Decisions imposed suddenly, with no time to get used to the idea or to prepare for the consequences, are generally resisted.
• Immersed in habit. Change is meant to bring something different, but how different? We are creatures of habit. Routines become automatic, but change can jar us into consciousness in an uncomfortable way. At tunes the mind does not believe new goals are worth suffering to attain. This explains why so many people resist dieting. 
• Loss of face. Change is a departure from the past. People associated with the last version — the one that didn’t work — are often defensive about it. They develop a mindset that predicts failure. Failure, though is not guaranteed. Thomas Edison failed 1000 times before inventing the light bulb. He considered his many failures a success because they led to his invention.
• Competency concerns. Can I do it? Change is resisted when it makes people feel stupid.
• More work.  Change involves work. Acquiring a new skill, mindset or way of behaving is time consuming.
•  Ripple effects. Change creates ripples, that disrupt family dynamics and alter relationships. It’s not unusual for family members or colleges to push back, rebelling against changes they had nothing to do with yet interfere with their own activities.
•  Past resentments. The minute you need cooperation for something new or different, ghosts of the past spring into action. Old wounds reopen, historic resentments are remembered.
• The threat may be real. Actual pain can occur. Household roles may change, activities you once enjoyed may end, and friendships often fizzle away with a move. Whether you live more lavishly or fugally can alter depending on circumstances around a change of employment. 

  Change is likely to be good for you once you figure out what you want. Perhaps you want to manage your stress level, make more money, buy a new house, live in another state. Making a change requires identifying where you want to go with your life, doing research and analyzing the pros and cons of achieving your new goal. When your actions will affect others, then your leadership skills are necessary to use to bring them into your dream.

  After diagnosing the source of resistance, consider the sacrifices and consequences that might impact others. Then invite those likely to be affected to express their concerns. If possible, work with them to find a solution and is mutually acceptable. They will be more supportive if  they understand the dynamics behind the change and their feelings are acknowledged.

References:

  Kanter, R (2012) Ten Reasons People Resist Change.Harvard Business Review. retrieved from https://hbr.org/2012/09/ten-reasons-people-resist-chang

  Griggs, U. (2019) How to Overcome Your Resistance to Change to Live a Better Life. Lifehack. retrieved from  https://www.lifehack.org/822909/resistance-to-change\

 Art is always for sale. Contact me at [email protected]

Heaven and Beyond/ Black frame / acrylic on canvas, 20” by 24” / $ 399