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                                                                                                            Personal Space 

     Several years ago, one of my girl friends fell in love with a Pakistani man. While on a trip to meet his family she became ill and was confined to bed for a week. A relative was assigned to sleep in her room, usually under her bed, until she recovered.  When healthy, the family insisted she be accompanied by someone when out walking. My friend said she had a wonderful visit and enjoyed meeting her boyfriend’s family but found it difficult to have her personal space continuously invaded. 

     The amount of open-space we need differs from person to person and culture to culture. We form bubbles around ourselves that make us feel nervous when they are punctured. People who grow up in the heavily populated cities of Pakistan are much more tolerant of being touched and having people stand close by, than those raised in wide-open spaces. 

       U.S. studies measuring closeness say that good friends and family want 1.5 feet to 3 between them while casual acquaintances and co-workers prefer 3 to 10 feet and strangers need more than 4 feet. Boundaries vary depending on whether it is a professional relationship, a male to male or female to female encounter or a romantic vs. platonic one. Next time you have a small gathering, sit or stand in a circle. Select two people to walk towards each other and stop when they feel uncomfortable. Repeat the exercise until each person has a chance to walk toward every guest. You’ll have an interesting time discussing the differences afterwards.

     When taking a seat in a crowded auditorium we commonly leave an extra one between ourself and our neighbor. In a crowded theater, where sitting next to someone is expected, we are comfortable with that person being there. We carve out personal space on highways as well in crowds. I find nothing worse than being followed closely by a tailgater. 

         American travelers often have a difficult time adjusting to crowds when abroad. Visitors to Cairo learn quickly that residents don’t have a sense of personal space. They brush up against each other without thinking, drive fearlessly around obstacles created by randomly parked cars, and jump on crowded buses when they don’t have the fare. Since there’s little privacy, apartment buildings employ guards, bawabs, who pay attention to the comings and goings of residents. They let potential bridegrooms know if their fiancés entertain men. 

     The Washington Post shared a study of personal space conducted with 9,000 people in 42 countries. In Brazil, metro-riders engage with each other, chatting freely with strangers rather than escaping to their cell phones. Brazilians are more touchy-feely than we and they pay more respect to the elderly and mothers with children. Even though the country is riddled with crime polite friendly behavior is common among strangers.

    In general, people in South Americas require less personal space than those residing in Asia. In Romainia, strangers stay their distance but friends are kept close while in Saudi Arabia, people stand farther away from friends than Argentinians do with strangers. Hungarians prefer love ones and strangers to remain at arms length. Europeans tolerate people being wrist-length distance apart. The U.S. is an arms-length society.

     Though differences vary by country, there are also commonalities. Women prefer more space from strangers than men. Residents in warm areas tend to move closer together than in cold climates, and old people stand farther away from neighbors than younger ones.  In all countries in the world, infants don’t mind being kissed and held close by adults. Children don’t start forming personal bubbles until the age of 3 or 4 when the amygdala begins to sense fear and become active when there’s a threat to safety.

        Consideration of personal space got me thinking about other species, birds in particular. How do they fly close and move in formation without colliding? Their beaks and feet are used to sense touch, noses point direction yet flying in formations calls on a grouping of senses based on physics rather than biology. Geese in a V-Pattern create “air paths” with less resistance, enabling them to cover long distances efficiently. The upwash created by the lead bird helps support the weight of those that follow. To avoid exhaustion the lead position changes regularly.  Maintaining formation, requires birds to sense and communicate through sight, sound, response to external stimuli, and changing wind patterns. Birds, such as the Ibis, position their wing tips carefully and synchronize flapping to save energy while flying.

     Starlings create an amazing dance when they move in murmuration, a whirling, ever changing pattern. It is as though they are connected for they twist and turn and change at a moment’s notice. One starling is so closely alined to the next, yet each one appears to move spontaneously. It’s now known that Starlings only pay attention to the birds flying next them. They react in milliseconds to their seven closest neighbors.  

     Human beings also pay attention to their to neighbors when moving in formation. In such circumstances, though their personal space may be invaded, they are comfortable responding to whoever is orchestrating the activity.  Dancers in a corps de ballet, the blue angels, soldiers on parade, and synchronized swimmers move harmoniously while in close proximity. 

     As you explore the boundaries that define your personal space ask why your bubble size might differ from your neighbor’s? What influence did you family, community or culture have in defining this aspect of your senses?

       Starlings Twirling and Swooping                    Ballerinas in Formation                             Synchronized Swimmers

How comfortable are you in a crowd?

 References:

Mayne,D.(2019)Etiquette Rules of Defining Personal Space, The Spruce. https://www.thespruce.com/etiquette-rules-of-defining-personal-space-1216625

Fadel,L.(2013) How different Cultures Handle Personal Space. NPR. retrieved from https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2013/05/05/181126380/how-different-cultures-handle-personal-space

Erickson, A. (2017)What ‘personal space” looks like around the world.  The Wahington Post. retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/04/24/how-close-is-too-close-depends-on-where-you-live/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.88b00df38297

Ganzalez,K. (2019) Personal space in Psychlogy: Definition, cultural differences and issues. Chapter 10  Study.comretrieved from https://study.com/academy/lesson/personal-space-in-psychology-definition-cultural-differences-issues.html

( 2019) What is a Murmuration? Wonderopolis. Science. retrieved from  https://www.wonderopolis.org/wonder/what-is-a-murmuration

Waldron, P. (2014) Why birds fly in a Vi-formation . Science.https://search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?hspart=pty&hsimp=yhs-pty_news¶m2=db063b7c-ab9e-498c-afda-6ade9148185f¶m3=news_~US~appfocus1¶m4=s-lp0-dsf_news--bb8~Chrome~how+do+birds+fly+in+formation~6F29AA9B0D0401B5AFD2AC8D43A603F0¶m1=20190526&p=how+do+birds+fly+in+formation&type=cn_appfocus1_cr

Art is always for sale. Personal Space is 20” by 16” / wide canvas / acrylic painting $299. Contact me at [email protected].