loving art, science and creative kids

  ADRA 

Does she want the responsibility of motherhood?

acrylic on canvas/ 24” by 20” / $ 450

Last week I wrote that 15 percent of American women do not have children, and that 1.8 was the average birthrate for those who did. In 2016, that number dipped to an all time low, and if it was not for immigrants, the population would be in decline. I also listed reasons couples chose not to have a family and shared the pleasure I had from raising my own brood of 5. 

Though most people said they liked the article (it was upbeat) and found the statistics interesting, one response surprised me. A woman I greatly respect said that she didn’t enjoy the blog for it sounded like white privilege. What? I was shocked. Does she believe that only white people can find pleasure in raising children? Her comment filled my mind throughout the week.  I had to investigate further.

The first thing I did was look at racial differences. In 2016, there were fifty-one per thousand births from White and Asian women. Native Hawaiian, American Indian and Alaska Natives had sixty per thousand, Hispanic women—fifty-eight  and African- American fifty-four per thousand. During the past two years these birthrates declined among come ethnic groups. Non-Hispanic White women gave birth to three percent fewer children. There was a two percent decline among Hispanic and Asian women while the birthrate among Black, Native American and Hawaiian women remained the same.

White, Hispanic and Asian women are choosing to have fewer children. Why? Are they more likely to view children as a burden or is it something else? Choices made today are greatly influenced by wealth, age and education. Strangely, those who can least afford children have larger families.

A majority of educated 20 year-olds desire children but believe they should have them when they are economically secure. They plan to finish their schooling, establish a career, acquire a modicum of financial security and have access to good healthcare before starting a family. Education and financial security contribute to good health, a lower chance of contracting a chronic disease and a longer life span. They also open doors to good jobs, enabling houses to be purchased in safe neighborhoods. Higher incomes make health care, insurance and legal assistance affordable. Support of paid or elected positions of government officials who shape policies to their advantage is within the means of the middle and upper class. 

Knowing these benefits, instead of following their heart’s desire for a household full of children, they work and wait. And, by the time they’re in their thirties, their minds change. The desire for a large family starts to wane. They enjoy their independence, are immersed in jobs and social activities and more reluctant to undertake the responsibility of parenthood. Their partners also work, making childcare a major concern. When they finally say yes to kids, they give birth at a later age and have fewer.

Minority, low-income and less educated people in their twenties also want children, but are less likely to wait for the golden bow to dip their way. They are not convinced it ever will. They live in marginal neighborhoods, have poor health care and limited income potential. Living in a constant state of economic insecurity, they have a high degree of stress. Though their needs are greater , they lack political representation to help them get out of poverty. Their familial support network is also weak due to divorce or having children out of wedlock. Relatives may live far away and frequent moves in search of employment end friendships. 

How many people can afford paying $10-$15 an hour for a babysitter? From time to time every parent needs relief to maintain sanity. Without support it makes me wonder if parenthood is a happy time for anyone who undertakes it.  Studies have been conducted measuring how happy parents are compared to those who elect not to have children.

The countries that report parents to be happier than non-parents are Portugal, Hungary, Spain, Norway, Sweden, Finland, France and Russia (just barely). Those that find them to be less happy than their childless friends include Ireland, Greece, Britain, New Zealand, Switzerland, Poland, Israel and four more, with the United States at the bottom. On average, American parents report being 12 percent unhappier than non-parents. This unfortunate situation is because our country provides little assistance to families with young children. Also raising children in America is outrageously expensive ($284,570). 

  In general, parenthood in the U. S. does not bring happiness, though it does provide a sense of purpose, gives meaning to life and stimulates ongoing social connections. The amount of pleasure a parent gets from raising children does seem to be influenced by privilege. Parenting may not be joyful unless you are a person with means. 

The countries with happier parents offer paid parental leave, mandatory paid sick and vacation days, subsidized childcare and work-schedule flexibility, providing an environment conducive to childrearing. I understand why touting the pleasures of parenthood might sound like it is promoting white privilege. However, it was wrong to call it a white issue for it is not based on race, but rather on education and economics. Secondarily, however, race does enter the picture because both education and economic situations are biased in favor of those who are white.

  In my younger years I was fortunate to have been privileged with enough resources to raise my children in comfort. They continue to provide me with a great deal of pleasure. I wish the same gift could be given to everyone. It can happen, but will take a citizenry that values parenthood and the life of each child.

Research:

Statista Portal (2016)  Birthrate in the United States in 2016, by ethnic group of mother. Statista. Retrieved from https://www.statista.com/statistics/241514/birth-rate-by-ethnic-group-of-mother-in-the-us/

Swanson, A. (2016) Many parents will say kids made them happier. They’re probably lying. Washington Post. retrieved from  https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/07/06/many-americans-will-tell-you-having-kids-made-them-happier-theyre-probably-lying/?utm_term=.1c878a9c565d