loving art, science and creative kids

Coos Bay, Oregon / acrylic on canvas/ 30“ by 40” / $499

Standing in the midst of this gentleness landscape set against moving water was refreshing and invigorating. Nature has a way of reminding me that there is more to life than work.

Are you a workaholic? What about a playaholic?

When my son was about 15 years old he turned to me and said, you and Dad work too hard.   I’m not going to be like you. Life is too short  so I'm going to have fun.  At the time he was just getting recovering from a life threatening illness, so I didn’t answer him with, “My work is fun!,” though that is what I felt like saying.  It was not until years later that he began to realize that he might live to be an old man. Then he had a real conundrum?  He had to decide what to do and make something of himself.  And, he did—but he never forgot how to have fun.   He now has a challenging business, yet finds the time to meet with his large circle of friends on a weekly basis.  He works very hard and plays hard.  I would never say his is a workaholic, though, I could see it happen.  Work, especially for those who own a business,  has a way of creeping up on you.  There are times when my son is with me and I notice his mind does wander to the multitude of  responsibilities he has instead of settling into “be hear now time.”

What is the difference between working hard and being a workaholic?  There are clues to look for starting with cell phone use. Addicted people are constantly checking their phones and responding to messages on the spot even when in the company of others.  Their work (or play) tasks interrupt social activities.  They are the people who would go through withdrawal if their computer was not close-by or the WiFi went down.  

We have to be careful, though, not all cell phone responders are workaholics. Edmund Neuhaus, Ph.D., director of the Behavioral Health Partial Hospital Program at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts advises that it is important to consider the context of each situation and cautions that there is a big difference between being a workaholic and a person who works hard. 

When business or play occupies all your mental and physical time at the exclusion of marriage, family and other relationships you may be verging on addiction.  If sitting quietly makes you feel guilty for not being productively engaged, then you could have a problem.  If when no one is paying attention, you try to sneak in a little work, then you may be similar to an alcoholic who hides the bottle from his family.  Addicted people are often seen turning a hobby into a new business. They forget that the hobby was originally selected as a way of relaxing.  Many have trouble delegating work to others. They are perfectionists who believe they have to do everything themselves or it will not be done right. 

Workaholics can be play addicts as well. It is similar when every waking moment is consumed in thought or action so that play is not longer a relaxing break from work. When play adds tension and causes stress  to your life, it is important to reevaluate your involvement.  Everyone needs some downtime., yet many workaholics dislike vacations, even when their work will not be affected.  Once that happens, they have likely full-fledged addicts. 

 “Not good,” says Dr. Neuhaus. Your health can be affected by high-stress activities whether at work or at play.  Burnout, depression, anxiety, psychosomatic symptoms such as headaches and stomachaches and excessive alcohol consumption are frequently the consequences.  

Interestingly enough, most workaholics deny their symptoms and do not acknowledge that they have a problem.  Unfortunately, in many cases, their denial leads to a heart attack.  It is usually family and friends who bring it to the problem to the workaholic’s attention, though it may be done dramatically by severing their relationship. 

Our culture doesn’t help. The United States is not like Europe where five-week vacations are the norm.  Instead, it prizes the work-ethic and overachievement.  Bosses reinforce hard work through praise, promotions, bonuses and raises rather than saying, “Good job, why not take time off?”

Play, care of self, exercise, and a spiritual life contribute to longevity and a sense of well-being.   So—work hard, yes, but be careful and take the time to relax with your loved ones.   Work can creep up on you and give you a false sense of the things that are important to your well-being.   Life is rich and beautiful if you let its many aspects touch you.  This holiday is a time to remember to have fun. Take the stress out of it, play, and enjoy each moment with family and friends. 

References:

http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/are-you-a-workaholic?page=2 - Is being a workaholic harmful?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dont-delay/201003/the-personality-the-workaholic-and-the-issue-self   -Psychology Today article on the workaholic personality.