loving art, science and creative kids

Can you love these faces?  It is not always easy is it? They may arouse interest, disgust, sadness or anger but LOVE?  

What is love anyway?

What is Loving Anyway?

Week after week I am preached to about the importance of love.  “Welcome to our loving community,” our minister says. It makes me wonder what he really means.  Is our community loving?

Most religions agree to the value of  this emotion. In Mark 12:13 it says ”love your neighbor as yourself.”   Jewish concepts from Leviticus 19:16-18 convey the  same message, “be loving to  your neighbor.” Muslims read in Hadith 13, “Love for your brother what you love for yourself.” The Buddha had many sayings such as, “ Love is a gift of one’s inner most soul to another so both can be whole,”  and “ Love the whole world as a mother loves her only child.”  

There are others who believe in love but define it from a moral, metaphysical and spiritual perspective.   When a parent says to a child, “I love you,” the atheist believes that the mother is verbalizing an instinct to preserve the species. A spouse who says, “I love you,” is expressing something about his or her biological processes that can be translated into, “My hormones surge for you.”  To them love is an advanced evolutionary phenomenon. Maslow mentions it in his hierarchy of needs by putting love at the third level from the bottom of his pyramid.  Love can only be obtained after satisfying basic needs for water, food, shelter. and security.  Can a community of refugees or street people form a loving community?

 What does he directive “to love others as myself” mean to a person who does not love himself? And for that matter, what is involved in creating a loving community? I’ve known people who belonged to a cult and been told that when they left the group they felt at a loss. There was a closeness that developed from shared beliefs of love and compassion even though there were other aspects that stopped making sense to them.

 I question my own goodness because I certainly don’t love everyone. I am somewhat of the evolutionary belief that takes hormones and emotions into account. Yet, I can see the beauty and reason for loving others if we want to live in a just society. However, it exhausts me to think about the work implied.

My mind wanders, and I wonder what it would take to exude feelings of love for all creatures.  In other words, how do I increase the chemical reactions in my body to  make me feel love, for I do believe it is a survival mechanism that keeps people from destroying each other.  It is a moral issue that our species needs embrace as it is a pleasure instinct.  It definitely feels wonderful when I am washed over with love .  

Most religions interpret t directives to mean sharing with the poor and the alien. We are told not to gossip or slander, to refuse to bear a grudge, to take care of one another and to never put another’s life at risk.  And we are to practice compassion, honesty and justice.  It is a to-do list of things that tell us how to act, believe and feel. 

Unfortunately, I find it difficult to love someone, especially if I do not know that person well. The word conjures up a close personal relationship in my mind.  When I hear acquaintances say, “I’ve fallen out of love with my wife,” or “ it is hard to love that child. He’s obnoxious,”  I suppose they mean that their love hormones no longer work. But so what?  Am I off the hook or do I have an obligation to carryout the, “do-good’ list of obligations?

I observe friends and acquaintances working for global justice issues and notice that though the causes are good though they sometimes forget  to take care of their own needs and that of their families.  Gandhi was a man who was less than kind to his family, though he aided a nation.  Hmm.  Isn’t it important to take care of those near you first?

Who should help the homeless person or an elderly neighbor living alone. Who is responsible for visiting a person ill in the hospital?  I wonder how many people stay in touch with their divorced friends and offer ongoing support.  Do they get annoyed and think, “when is he going to stop feeling sorry for himself?”  And when the spouse of a friend dies, do they expect the person to return to normalcy by the end of the year rather than accept that it may take five or more years to get over the death of a loved one. It is hard to be around sadness.  

Love takes time.  It involves effort and means getting to know the other person as yourself.  It  also demands time to celebrate when good things happen.  And, it means listening to children and friends though you are busy and tried.  Being present with love gives a warm cuddly feeling and makes me happy in the knowledge that I am trusted to share both  good and bad occurrences.

As I age, I want to expand my chemical reactions by following the advice of wise sages. I hope to live in a loving community but decided that to do so, I have to work to make it that way.

References:

www.40hadithnawawi.com/index.php/the-hadiths/hadith-13http:// - words from the Quaran

www.curatedquotes.com/love-quotes/buddha -Quotes from the Buddha

www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Judaism/loving1.htm - Quotes from Judaism

biblehub.com/mark/12-13.htm- Quotes from the New Testiment

http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism_and_love - Atheism and love

http://www.gotquestions.org/love-neighbor-yourself.html- what it means to love one another

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Basic+Human+Need+Maslow+Hierarchy&FORM=RESTAB - Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. 

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