loving art, science and creative kids
5/29/2016 1:08:31 AM
Seeking Perfection
acrylic painting on canvas/ 20” by 24”/ $ 399.
I have decided that perfectionism can be a curse. (Please don’t let my doctor hear that.) I imagine Olympians are not interested in this line of reasoning either. But as a parent and business woman I find that perfectionists create problems.
When I started my museum in Michigan I hired an exceptionally talented woman to direct our education programs. Janice held herself to extremely high standards and was upset when she did not meet them. She worked long hours to develop classroom curriculums and dynamic demonstrations for our visitors. Janice was adept at setting goals and implementing them.
Her unhappiness escalated as she worked with a staff of people who had never run a science center before. Many colleagues were unable to grasp issues or contribute creative solutions as quickly as she which led her to become exasperated. In my office we had many long discussions about her perceptions of fellow workers. I felt that she paid too much attention to the competency of other staff and gave little thought in how to make them more effective. Janice was so certain that she could do their jobs better than they that she often took on their projects in addition to her own. She became exhausted by overwork, eventually experiencing burn out and quit.
Janice taught me an important lesson. A strong administrator maintains perspective by assessing progress periodically rather than daily. People occasionally make mistakes and getting angry or being unforgiving is not a way to improve achievement or company moral. Janice helped me understand that my job was to teach, prod and inspire others to improve. At times I too was disappointed in the work of others. But when I let my own perfectionist goals and insecurities come to the forefront I undermined the group.
Perfectionism is a personality trait that is characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness. Having excessively high performance standards produces a variety of debilitating outcomes. Looking back to my childhood I realize that my desire to be exceptional started in school. I was a self-critical achiever who worked hard to get good grades. Most of all I wanted to impress my father and demonstrate that I could be as successful as any of the boys in the family.
Once I graduated from college, however, I shriveled under the weight of my ambition. My desire for success put me on a fast track to unhappiness. Instead of going out into the world to be challenged, I retreated and used my children as an excuse to stay in a shell.
Fear of working started when I applied for and was offered a job at the Boston Children’s Museum. The work was perfect for a fledgling anthropologist for it involved developing cultural kids to be used in a school loan program. The museum atmosphere would have been rewarding and challenging if only I had had the courage to accept the job. Instead of staying yes, my perfectionist fears got in the way and I said no. I wondered how I would ever be able to do an adequate job. I was so afraid of failing that I never even tried. It took years before I had the courage to tackle a challenging task with the understanding that I was good enough.
When I started Impression 5 Science Museum in Michigan a man once asked me if I was afraid of failing or succeeding. Both are tied to perfectionism. He made me understand that living your dream is fraught with risk. If I was not willing to fail then it would be impossible for me to even begin. On the other hand, If I worried too much about succeeding I might also find excuses not to start for success often means extra work with increased pressure to perform flawlessly. Janice fell into this category and left her job.
In my situation, I was saved by passion. The science museum became an overwhelming goal that made me stop thinking about myself. I wanted a hands-on museum for my children to enjoy and that desire overcame my handicap. I stopped worrying about whether I would succeed or not. I just acted and could not stop myself from going ahead even though I made dozens of mistakes due to inexperience.
When passion comes into play a hole in the fabric opens allowing a new set of values to take over the old. Curiosity and process become ends in themselves pushing thoughts of failure or success to the background.
In 1937 a Bell Labs scientist named George Stibitz used relays in a demonstration adding machine. The same year a German engineer built his Z2 computer using telephone company relays. Building on these trials David Packard and Bill Hewlett played around in their garage, overcoming one failure after another before inventing the 200A Audio Oscillator, a piece of test equipment for engineers. In 1940 Walt Disney Pictures took a risk by ordering their 200B model to test recording equipment and speaker systems for newly equipped theaters in order to show “Fantasia.” Each of these entrepreneurs spent hours plunged in uncertainty, often failing before developing societally useful applications. Even then, they did not make perfect products. What they did was create a link in a chain that still continues to grow. They provided shoulders for other men and women to stand on.
My life has been filled with failures but each one gave me something to treasure. And though I keep wanting to help my children and grandchildren avoid my mistakes I have come to realize that they need to take risks on their own. I can only hope that they accept themselves as the loving imperfect intelligent people they are. The best I can do is support them in their endeavors, overlook their failures and encourage them to use boldness in following their ambitions.
http://www.computerhistory.org/timeline/computers/ - history of the computer
Art work is always for sale. Contact me at [email protected]
Do respond below with your thoughts.
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For sale on Amazon by Marilynne Eichinger: The True Story of Streetwise, overcoming homelessness and beating the odds. Go to AMAZON .
5/21/2016 9:32:28 PM
Achieving Flow
Acrylic on canvas / 18” by 24”/ $ 260
When are you the happiest?
Do you believe most people are happy? Are you? Take a moment to consider those moments you experienced pure joy, when glee and pleasure embraced you, and ask yourself what precipitated that feeling. No, I am not talking about sex, though that too can be satisfying. Instead remember more instances that provided extended contentment and comfort. Why do you think you felt so satisfied?
Was your pleasure dependent on money or was it caused by an activity you engaged in? Psychologist Abraham Maslow tried to understand what contributed to feelings of fulfillment. He depicted a pyramid to explain motivation. Putting basic needs at the base and aesthetics at the peak, he theorized that the first needs to be met are those of survival. Only when concerns such as food, shelter and love are satisfied is a person motivated enough to fill higher levels leading to self-actualization.
In my late 20’s I was comfortably situated with most of my basic needs met. I started playing the flute thinking I would attain a degree of excellence. Every day I practiced dutifully and even brought a group of musicians together who didn’t mind accompanying a novice. Eventually a few friends and I formed a chamber music group. Most of the players had learned their instruments as kids. They were good and relaxed at what they did and best of all tolerant my awkwardness. Though I played for eight years I never achieved a level of comfort. Playing the flute was always an effort in concentration and I found it impossible to lose myself in the music.
Painting is a different matter. No longer am I self-conscious about what I am doing. I picked up a brush over thirty years ago and gave myself over to the process even when completed canvases were marginal. I never thought about becoming a master artist but more about practicing so I could put the images in my mind on canvas. After a great many years, I executed a picture that appeared magically and effortlessly on my canvas. It was a mystical experience. I had been immersed in pure creation with no thought of myself and experienced emotions that produced an internal glow. What happened?
Hungarian psychologist, Mahaly Cxikszentmihalyi was fascinated by Maslow’s work and took his findings a step further. Mahaly provided a scientific explanation for peak experiences. After studying the happiness factor in thousands of people he developed a concept defined as a “state of flow.” It occurs to those who are so completely absorbed in an activity that they achieve a loss of self-consciousness. It is as though they are in an emotionless state yet remain in total control. A monk might call it reaching Zen, a perfect state of equilibrium.
Dr. Csikszentmihalyi, founder of the positive psychology movement, began his research by studying artists and other creative people. His subjects found the process of creating more important than the finished work itself. During times of intense focus and innovation they entered a “flow” state in which Mahaly identified seven factors:
1 Complete involvement in what you’re doing: complete focus and concentration.
2 A sense of ecstasy–of being outside of everyday reality.
3 A great inner clarity: knowing what needs to be done and getting immediate feedback on how well its being accomplished.
4 Knowing that the activity is doable, that you have the necessary skills to complete the task successfully.
5 Losing your sense of self and having worries and concerns drift away.
6 Losing track of time and being completely focused on the present moment.
7 Having an intrinsic motivation—whatever produces flow becomes it’s own reward.
Not content to stop there Mahaly broadened his research base to encompass various socio-economic groups engaged in a wide variety of jobs, hobbies, and sporting activities. He analyzed those who involved in what he calls high-flow activities. Their goals required them to be motivated enough to practice in order to obtain skill and concentration. By being focused in their efforts they were more likely to develop long term happiness than those engaged in low-flow activities such as video games, internet surfing and socializing. In other words, hard work pays off while low-effort enterprises often contribute to depression and poor self-esteem.
Why? Dr. Csikszentmaihalyi explained in a Ted Talk that the nervous system is incapable of processing more that 110 bits of information per second. Listening to someone speak involves processing 60 bits per second which explains why it is difficult to pay attention to two people talking at the same time. When completely involved in the process of creating you don’t have enough attention left over to monitor how your body feels, whether you are hungry or not, or thoughts about your next task. In other words, you become “zoned out.” You flow.
Flow is studied by psychologists world-wide and applied to all types of professions with similar findings. Streetwise, the young man my husband and I befriended, is now a journeyman industrial painter. He told me what it is like to be on on the top of an eighty foot water tower.
“ I lose myself. My mind is blank to everything around me except for what I am doing. It is almost like I am not thinking as I stripe and paint for my sense of self-awareness is gone. My brush moves back and forth and I don’t leave any holidays (mistakes, blank spots.)” Work feels effortless for Streetwise even when he is hanging fearlessly over the edge. In those moments he is in a state of flow.
Developing goals, striving to achieve them, learning to focus and finally attaining competency is the formula for reaching a pure state of being, of living “in the zone.” Dr. Csikszentmihalyiu says that learning how to get there quickly so you can enter flow more often leads to the most productive and creative state of mind in which to work. It is a key to well being and an important component of happiness.
Are you one of the fortunate people who have experienced a state of flow? How long does the feeling last? Does it spill over to the rest of your life and make you happy?
Do share your story below.
Art work is always for sale. Contact me at [email protected]
References:
http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html - Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
https://daringtolivefully.com/how-to-enter-the-flow-state - How to enter the flow state
http://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/science-of-happiness/getting-in-the-flow/ - about Mahaly Cxikszentmihalyi and a state of flow.
https://daringtolivefully.com/how-to-enter-the-flow-state - How to enter the flow state
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For sale on Amazon by Marilynne Eichinger: The True Story of Streetwise, overcoming homelessness and beating the odds. Go to AMAZON .
5/7/2016 9:01:35 PM
The Chairman
mixed media on canvas/ 20” by 16”/ $399
Ever wonder how Mao Tse Tung got into into power? He was not loved by the establishment and once in office was feared by the very people who originally supported him.
Gossip and the Media
How many times have you heard people say, “I don’t want to fail.” When you hear those words it is often from a person who is trying hard to succeed. Their efforts may be pushy and the individual willing to ignore the social implications of what they are doing. There are also larger numbers of people who give up their dreams without striving because they are so afraid of the fallout from failure. They do not try and therefore never learn from their mistakes. They are afraid of gossip and a media that loves to expound on failures. Strangely publicizing controversy can turn vinegar into honey for a dedicated entrepreneur.
I certainly failed many times over. It would take more fingers and toes than I presently have to count the many instances of trial and error that ended poorly. Luckily, I had enough presence in mind to say, “well that didn’t work, what should I do next.” I try to learn from my mistakes especially when alternative viewpoints make sense. I’ll share a story from my book, Lives of Museum Junkies, that will be published this August.
My adventure began when I visited executive offices in Lansing, Michigan to meet with corporate and education leaders to discuss the idea of starting a new science museum. I wanted to raise funds for a hands-on education center and was not having much luck. One of the men I spoke to was the director of the YMCA. He emphatically told me I would fail because, “in Lansing there are only two things that matter. One is sports and the other is sex and you are not involved in either.” His comment was incredulous to me but I tucked it away to be recalled later.
“One day, with not much to do, I relaxed in my chair reading a magazine article about how the Playboy Bunnies visited communities to engage in sporting events against local celebrities in order to raise money for charity. My brain started churning and I remembered what the director of the YMCA said: “Sports and sex would be the secret of success.”
The Detroit Playboy Club was close enough to Lansing that I immediately called their manager. Much to my amazement, without hesitation or questions the Bunnies agreed to visit and play basketball against our community businessmen. Days became exciting once more. I began to telephone every well-known chief executive I could think of and asked for his involvement. In the 70s they were all men and no-one declined. The game was on with a who’s who of local participants that included the mayor, president of MSU, superintendent of schools, CEOs of various manufacturing companies, real estate developers, the head of Oldsmobile, and state politicians. When the local newspaper learned of the event the game to became a feature.
One problem — a big one — reared its ugly head and I was reminded of lesson #1, “Nothing ever occurs as you might imagine.” The early 70s heralded in the start of the women’s lib movement with books by Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan circulating and being read by a wide audience. The equal rights amendment was headed to the states for ratification and organizations like Planned Parenthood and NOW were growing in prominence. In East Lansing a group of high school students and university women threatened to picket the Bunny Game. What had started out as a fun crazy event was turning into a political nightmare and we didn’t know what to do. Now we had the makings not of a feature but of a gossip column. In fact, the gossip columnist did pick up the controversy with gusto and had a great time splashing the story daily. A number of the men who held public office called to inform me that they were reluctantly compelled to back out of their commitment.
My stomach churned with worry and I started looking for ways to work with the women libbers, finally coming up with the idea of asking Michigan State University’s woman’s basketball team if they would be willing to hold a practice game against our local celebrities. I hoped that by involving the female team the newspaper would soften the Playboy image and make the game acceptable. Their coach agreed to the practice, and the celebrity men arrived for a grueling session. The women on the basketball team were of course fantastic athletes in perfect condition. The men, many of whom were potbellied, had to be replaced every three minutes to ensure there were no injuries.
Our celebrity team enjoyed their practice game, but it was not enough to silence the critics. Ticket sales were sparse and we were prepared to fail when a miracle occurred. Thankfully for us (though tragically for a great many) we were rescued by Mother Nature. The night before the game the clouds exploded and it started to rain and rain and rain. The greater Lansing area was deluged with a fifty-year flood and all citizens not concerned with their own water-filled basements were called on to bag the river banks. Jenison Field House at Michigan State, where we were to have played, was swimming in two and a half feet of water, flooding the basketball court. The Playboy Bunny Game had to be canceled. My sigh of relief is still being carried on the winds today. But the upside to the controversy is that the science museum became a known entity and on its way to becoming more than just an office in a public school. By now the entire Lansing community knew what was being planned and though many did not like the Bunny Game they certainly did support our idea for Impression 5.”
The museum got off to a start with the basketball game that was never played. I learned very directly that bad publicity as well as good can get you towards your goal. That experience is why I understand the phenomenon we call Donald Trump. It is why every time he says something horrible, his publicity increases and more people flock to his side. It is also how social beliefs get changed and evaluated. In my case, the women’s movement entered my consciousness for the first time. As the only female president of a science center I never thought about other women as I pursued my dream. Suddenly I became aware that I as well as others were fighting an uphill battle and we had to join together for a common cause.
Trump’s message brings to the forefront previously unspoken issues that do need to be addressed. He appeals to an underclass of people who have been neglected and are angry. As to whether Trump is the one to solve inequality problems I will not comment. But because of Trump, as well as Bernie Sanders, there is a good chance that issues around trade, politics as usual and Wall Street will not go away. Both men have gained attention by being outspoken with little regard to political correctness.
A recurring problem is that once elects a politician who is unethical or has hidden agendas may foster an outcome that is not what the voting public desired. Patterns of corruption are found throughout the world in local and national politics. Unfortunately, oligarchs often control the very media that helped him or her get elected.
I am not saying that people should barrel ahead and make newsworthy waves whenever they want to accomplish something new. I am suggesting that an entrepreneur or politician has to persevere at ties and look outside of the box by taking risks. Hopefully the cause is just and the promoter has intentions that will benefit society. A wise viewer listens skeptically to TV news gossip and digs to find the true intentions of the speaker.
References: Quote from Lives of Museum Junkies, by Marilynne Eichinger, presently being published by Inkwood Press. Look for an announcement about availability inAugust 2016.
Art is always for sale. Contact me at [email protected].
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For sale on Amazon by Marilynne Eichinger: The True Story of Streetwise, overcoming homelessness and beating the odds. Go to AMAZON. What is it like to live on the streets? How do we help so many young people escape a life of hopelessness?
5/1/2016 1:34:02 AM
Afternoon Tea
Acrylic painting / 30” by 22”/ $399
What will be said over tea? Will talk be honest? Politically correct? Will problems be solved or understanding gained?
Political Correctness meets Freedom of Expression
A few weeks ago I received a comment concerning my newsletter about population explosion. The note came through my private email with a request not to publish the response because it was not politically correct. The writer commented that the Catholic Church is the problem underlying overpopulation. Her words made me stop to consider just what it means to be politically correct. What happens to society when thoughts become so constrained as to limit dialog?
I remember a club I once visited with a policy that excluded members from discussing politics. It seemed strange to me for the associates were friends. In another instance, an acquaintance belonged to a religious organization that instructs parishioners not to participate in activities or form friendships outside of the church. At home our own congressional delegates will not cross party lines to speak to each other. There is little desire for understanding or consideration of diversity in a search for consensus. In these cases the organizations have chosen an effective way to avoid conflict by sealing mouths to differences.
My experience in general is that people want to be polite and are therefore cautious. They may be loath to share beliefs if they think their companions will disagree. Instead unorthodox opinions are hidden for fear of ridicule or even rejection. Yet by doing so, they accept to live in a constant state of tension, stepping gingerly on egg shells as they navigate social situations.
But back to the question of what is politically correct communication? How can we navigate the quagmire of indoctrination, strongly held beliefs and disruptive actions? Let’s consider terrorism.
We have watched ISIS and Taliban extremists terrorize our citizens through both words and horrific deeds. Many Americans develop fears, and are willing to label all Muslims as extremists which unfairly places peace-loving citizens in the terrorist category. It some circles it is even politically incorrect to make comments that look for the causes of Islamic terrorism without being labeled soft or unpatriotic.
Those living in the Middle East may have another view of terrorism. Americans are often seen as the perpetrators by those facing drone attacks and bombings by U.S. planes. It follows logically that a someone living in an area experiencing such threats will develop a closed mind to positive statements about the United States. To them we are the enemy and it would be politically incorrect for one of their countrymen to say something favorable. A great many minds on both sides of the issue are completely closed to further discussion.
Political correctness in these cases is defined through the lens of each particular group. The word itself implies a certain amount of dogma about an unquestionable truth that is not open to opposing comments. Presenting views that are unaccepted by the audience often turns the speaker into a seemingly bad person. The speaker’s motivation may get challenged by a response that closes further conversation. Correctness by most compassionate people condemns hate speak and words that rile angry emotions.
So how does one discuss complex, emotional issues? What is the best way to express personal beliefs to those not wearing the same badge? Is there a way to have an honest dialogue about sensitive issues such as population control and terrorism?
I do believe there is a way to use constructive methods to resolve personal, organizational and political conflicts. Non-violent communication provides a hopeful path leading to peaceful and productive outcomes. It is a compassionate process that shares values rather than dogma. Actions become evaluated by how they contribute to life and the human needs they serve. Discussion starts by exploring how and why hateful views are passed down within families and communities. By focusing on values participants quickly realize that most people want the same things. Desire for safety, security, health, housing, joy, food ,education, community, and justice is universal. Once these desires are acknowledged the process goes on to evaluate just how successful early teachings and biases are in meeting individual and group needs. By examining root causes of specific situations conversations can become richer and honesty is given a chance to thrive.
Non-violent communication provides a language that invites dialogue, thus enabling empathetic connections. It allows anger to be fully expressed and it promotes rapport in communication without resorting to hostility. This enabling vocabulary breaks down patterns that lead to anger and hopelessness. Feeling words are used to express emotions such as affection, engagement, gratefulness, inspiration, exhilaration and hope. Unsatisfactory expressions are avoided that might produce fear, confusion, embarrassment or tension.
I began this article by mentioning a woman who blames the Catholic Church for problems caused by overpopulation. Let’s consider how she might communicate without creating animosity.
She could start the discussion by stating her own fears and establishing an invitation for further dialogue. For example, “I am afraid that there are not enough resources to support the increase claimed in population projections. I believe water and land will be at unsustainable levels by 2050 and worry that such a mass of humanity will result in increased violence, wars and migrations. I don’t know where my family will find safety in such a world. Does this problem concern you?” It is difficult to get angry at such beginning comments for they establishes a safe forum for truthful expression that will not threaten friendships. It sets a platform for discussing the role of religion without producing dangerous emotions.
As conflicts spread across the globe and cultures continue to merge we need ways to accommodate understanding and compromise. If we are not going to be ruled by war then we have to find win-win alternatives. Books and workshops in Non-violent Communications are offered throughout the country. Like most things, honing listening skills and inviting dialog does take practice but the rewards of getting to know neighbors on a deeper level is great.
http://www.cnvc.org/about-us - Center for Non-Violent communication.
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, 3rd Edition: Life-Changing
Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides) Third
Edition, Third edition Edition
by Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD (Author), Deepak Chopra (Foreword) - Book
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For sale on Amazon by Marilynne Eichinger: The True Story of Streetwise, overcoming homelessness and beating the odds. Go to AMAZON. What is it like to live on the streets? How do we help so many young people escape a life of hopelessness?
