Hanan and Mirna
For the past three years, I've been grandma to two African-American children whose parents immigrated from Ethiopia and Somalia. We meet weekly to do art and science projects, read, and take excursions to area parks. The escalation of Omicron brought a halt to my visits. Until we can meet outside again, I have to be wary because they attend school unvaccinated. But, I do miss them. They are a large part of my life.
As I often do when bothered, I escape to my studio. In this instance, I made a painting of the girls showing them wearing masks they made on Halloween. Figurative paintings are difficult for men, but in this case, I persevered. Looking back, I realized that the act of painting them was cathartic. It provided a way to give vent to emotions without languishing or becoming depressed.
Out of the Doldrums
Languishing: a) To be or become feeble, weak, or enervated b) to be or live in a state of depression or decreasing vitality c) to become dispirited or suffer neglect
Catharsis: a) the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions
While having my hair, I asked the stylist how many of her customers she would label as languishing. After thinking for a while, she answered, "about a third." That's a lot, I thought, wondering why so many. We both agreed that the Omicron variant was making a large number of people feel dispirited, bored, and without hope. Those who had put dreams, activities, and family visitations on hold, were finding it most difficult to deal with repeating waves of viral infections.
"But, what about the two-thirds who don't feel that way?" I asked. "What's different about them?" The question led to a lively discussion of emotions and the tools people use to heal and keep themselves sane. We talked of ingrained curiosity, and the role music, dance, and the visual arts play in people's lives.
My hairdresser, also an accomplished dancer, and choreographer, mentioned that she releases her emotions daily through movement dance. Unlike repetitive exercise, her movements vary with her mood. Feeling the music helps her express happy, sad, and angry emotions that send messages outwards that audiences can feel. She stays motivated by having an outlet for creativity that at the same time is cathartic. It provides purpose and passion.
It is those two words, purpose and passion, that when turned into tools, are away to avoid languishing. "How do I get there, you may ask?" The answer is basic. Start with a hungry mind. Curious people are not prone to languishing-they're too busy asking questions and tracking down answers.
Curiosity is a state of arousal. It is energizing when stimulated, and it tends to snowball as one thought leads to another. As psychologist Annie Paul says, it "is the engine of intellectual achievement--it's what drives us to keep learning, keep trying keep pushing forward." When there's a gap in knowledge, curious people feel deprived and are motivated to obtain the missing information to eliminate the feeling of deprivation.
Curiosity doesn't happen in a vacuum. It starts with something familiar yet want to know more about it. It primes the pump as George Lowenstein wrote in "The Psychology of Curiosity," and sets in motion ways to fill the gap. But, researching a topic online or in-person isn't enough. Communicating your findings is equally as important, for discussion adds different perspectives from friends and coworkers and leaves the participant curious to know more.
What can you do if you languish? Study the houses you pass by as you take your daily walk. Imagine what type of people live inside. What personality prefers a contemporary as opposed to a classical home? If you see the person outside, say hello. Get into a conversation to see if the house matches their personality.
Keep the phrase "I wonder if…" at the top of your mind. Look for novelty, something new to keep you stimulated--a game, class, book club, a lecture, a new piece of music. Write down your predictions about something that might happen in the future and follow up to see if they come true. Get your hands dirty. Doing instead of observing. Make art, garden, woodwork, play an instrument, experiment with vegan recipes.
I know someone who retired and took voice lessons. He figured if not now, when? Though not Lyle Lovett, he's turned into an excellent lyricist and composer who entertains friends with his creations. Another retiree I met became interested in geodes and set up a saw in his backyard to cut them in half. Today he has dozens of saws working day and night. His lawn is filled with fossilized wood and rocks waiting to be sliced for customers wanting slabs.
Whether you have one year left of life or sixty, it's always good to ask yourself who you are, who you want to be, and how to get to your next plateau. Life is before you, not in the past. It is up to you to make every minute count.
References:
Stulberg, B. (2021)Languishing and the Art of Showing up. the Growth Equation. retrieved from https://thegrowtheq.com/languishing-and-the-art-of-showing-up/
Paul, Annie, (2013) How to Stimulate Curiosity. Psychology, Time Magazine. retrieved from https://ideas.time.com/2013/04/15/how-to-stimulate-curiosity/
Straker, D. (website) Creating Curiosity. Changing Minds. retrieved from http://changingminds.org/explanations/motivation/creating_curiosity.htm
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Are you languishing? Share your feelings and the steps you take to move forward. Please comment on my blog site at eichingerfineart.com/blog
Art is always for sale: contact me at marilynne@eichingerfineart.com.
Hanan and Mirna is an acrylic painting on deep canvas/ 24" by 30" / $985
