loving art, science and creative kids
7/26/2025 6:32:14 PM
A Masked View
Letting Go
There were times during my years of raising children when letting go felt impossible. When my babies were born, I vowed to protect and care for them. I survived the terrible twos—those chaotic years when they wanted to explore everything and screamed when I wouldn’t let them cross the street alone. As they grew older and began walking, climbing jungle gyms, and learning to ride bikes, I made sure the ground was soft if they fell and insisted on helmets for safety. I did my best to ensure they weren’t bullied and that their teachers paid attention.
I may have been a hovering mom, and for a while, that served us well. But then came the teen years, and they developed minds of their own.
Guiding teens is always a challenge, but today it feels more complicated than ever. Parents now face an array of new concerns, including cell phones, social media, overstimulation, sleep deprivation, safety concerns, and financial uncertainty. Yet the heart of the challenge remains the same—parents must eventually let go, often sooner than they expect. High school flies by, and suddenly, our children are stepping into a complex, competitive world.
Strangely, though, our culture sends mixed messages. Teens are told to be responsible, avoid drugs, alcohol, and sex, while popular media normalizes the very behaviors we warn against. It’s no wonder they feel confused.
Helping our kids navigate this minefield starts with trust. Support their growing independence by helping them identify what they like and don’t like. Let them make choices that aren’t harmful, even when they aren’t the ones you would make. For me, that began with small decisions, like clothing and hairstyles. I loved dressing them when they were young, but as teens, they chose baggy pants and dyed hair, styles that made me cringe.
Still, I let it go. They had good friends, were actively involved in positive school activities, and earned decent grades. I came to see those style choices as harmless forms of self-expression. I talked with them about their decisions—not to override them, but to understand their reasoning. I wanted them to feel heard, not corrected.
Their independence also meant discovering purpose. I wanted them to feel that what they did mattered. That’s something I tried to nurture through daily life. The experts I consulted agreed it’s important. Here are some research-based ways parents can support their teens in developing autonomy and identity:
- Help them understand they matter. Show them that their ideas, actions, and presence make a difference.
- Celebrate unevenness. Not every teen excels at everything. Help them discover and lean into what they love.
- Have small, frequent conversations. Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think your best qualities are?”
- Model a purposeful life. Show your own love of learning, joy, and fulfillment.
- Encourage exploration. Invite them to step outside their comfort zone now and then.
- Support volunteer work. Helping others fosters purpose and identity, especially when it aligns with their interests.
- Be patient. Let them move at their own pace. Provide stimulation and space for reflection—both are necessary.
My own parents followed similar principles. By the time I left home at eighteen, independence had become a natural part of me. I didn’t experience the giddy relief some of my college classmates felt at escaping home. I also noticed something: the students whose parents maintained the tightest control often rebelled the hardest, engaging in parties, drinking, and risky behavior.
Letting go of my own children was still emotionally hard. The ache of the empty nest hit me each time one of them entered eleventh grade, when the end of our daily life together came into view. I feared our relationship would change. I’d miss their presence, their energy, the sound of their footsteps. And yes, I did. But their departure also gave me the space to rediscover who I was without them at the center of everything.
Today, I remain close with my children, even though distance makes it harder to form the kind of relationship I’d hoped for with their own children. Still, it’s rewarding to see them doing well, and they are resourceful, thoughtful, and adaptable in a rapidly changing world. They are problem solvers, grounded and resilient. And I like to think that my letting go helped them get there.
Remember the words of Hodding Carter Jr., civil rights activist and former Assistant Secretary of State for Public Affairs under Jimmy Carter. “There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots, the other is wings.”
Please share your thoughts on parenting and grandparenting, an how you helped the youngsters in your life prepare for adulthood. Share your thoughts below.
References:
Website: Guiding Teens into Adulthood in the Modern World. Focus Family. Retrieved from https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-qa/guiding-teens-into-adulthood-in-the-modern-world/
Website Guiding Teens Towards Finding Purpose. CHC Resource Library. Retrieved from https://www.chconline.org/resourcelibrary/guiding-teens-towards-finding-purpose-in-life/
website. Guiding Teens on Life’s Highway. Parenting today’s teens. Retrieved from https://parentingtodaysteens.org/articles/guiding-teens-on-lifes-highway//
Art is always for sale. A Masked View is a 30” by 24” acrylic painting on deep canvas. Purchase through my website at: https://www.eichingerfineart.com/workszoom/4504055/a-masked-view#/ Questions? Contact me at [email protected]
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Parenting is an art. Unfortunately, some parents don't realize this and fail to fulfill their obligations to their children and society. Too many of these children end up homeless, surviving on the streets of our cities.
Over the Fence describes what it is like for those young adults and the people who try to help them find their purpose. It can be purchased on Amazon, Barnes & Noble. If your bookstore doesn't carry it, ask them to purchase a copy from Ingram Sparks.
7/18/2025 7:59:34 PM
114 DEGREES FARHENHEIT
The painting serves as a poignant reminder of how our disregard for scientific information about climate change has contributed to rising temperatures and the destruction of homes and forests.
What a Jazz Band Taught Me About the Web of Life
This week's reflection comes from a place of both urgency and hope.
Al Gore once said, "Political will is a renewable resource." He was speaking about our collective power in a democracy to act-especially in the face of the climate crisis. When we unite around shared values, we can transform systems. The potential is there. We just have to tap it.
This idea echoes a Unitarian Universalist principle I embraced in my youth:
"Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part." It's a beautiful reminder that we are not isolated beings. We are part of a vast, delicate network of people, ecosystems, histories, and futures. The way we treat the planet and one another matters deeply.
Why This Matters to Me
Interdependence:
Every action ripples. Even small ones. Dropping a tissue on the road may seem harmless, but it could contribute to pollution or spread disease. A single careless moment can reverberate in ways we don't immediately see.
Environmental Reality:
Years ago, I traveled up the Dnieper River in Ukraine and saw people fishing in a thick, algae-covered, foul-smelling current. It broke my heart. That catch might have been the only food some families had. Sadly, similar conditions exist here in the U.S., where fish runs are disappearing and clean water is no longer a given. We survive together-or not at all.
Social Justice:
As a child, I learned about immigrants who built this country-Pilgrims fleeing persecution, Irish families escaping famine, African slaves picking cotton, and Chinese laborers laying tracks across the West. Many were met with hostility, despite their contributions. Their hurt stays with me, along with the good they brought to the melting pot experiment we call the United States. We may look different, but beneath our skin we share the same blood, bones, and dreams. How we treat one another shapes who we become as a society.
Beyond Individualism:
We are social beings. I once saw a music teacher form a high school jazz band filled with prodigies. Each student was gifted, but when the group first came together, it was a chaotic scene. Only when they stopped trying to outshine each other and started listening to the conductor did they create something beautiful. Harmony overcame ego, and community became more important than self.
The principle, a respect for the interdependent web, is more than a belief. It's a way of being.
It is a constant reminder that our fates are woven together, that no action is too small, and that we each hold a thread in the tapestry of change. It's what gives me hope, even in difficult times. If political will is renewable, then our compassion, courage, and collective strength are, too.
I’d love to hear from you:
Have you had a moment that reminded you we’re all connected?
Share your story on my Blog Site—or forward this to a friend who might need a little hope today.
Until next time,
Marilynne
The Water Factor is a Firebird International Award winner for best dystopian novel and a Literary Titan recipient for best thriller. It is available in ebook, paperback, and audio formats. It can be purchased on AMAZON, Barnes and Noble, locally at Powells Books and Annie Bloom's Books, and as an audiobook on Amazon, Audible, and iTunes. Ask your bookstore to order a copy from Ingram. Please leave a review.
114 DEGREES FARHENHEIT CAN BE PURCHASED ON LINE ON THIS WEBSITE. Questions? Contact me at [email protected]
7/12/2025 9:07:29 AM
Wade in: How Water Became the Heart of My Fiction
With so many urgent social justice issues facing us today, rising inequality, attacks on healthcare, threats to reproductive rights, I'm often asked why I chose water as the central theme of my novel. At first, I wasn't sure how to answer. Perhaps it began with my water billing—$500 seems outrageous for three people. But deeper than cost, there's a growing unease in our household. Ray only drinks bottled water, paying 2000 times more than if he drank it from a tap. I filter mine through a PUR system, even though officials say there's no lead risk because our home has plastic pipes. Still, I hesitate to trust what comes out of the tap.
That distrust was reinforced last week when I spoke with a man who manages the water system for a medium-sized town just north of Portland. To my surprise, he said he doesn't drink Bull Run water. I was always told Portland had one of the cleanest water sources in the country. The repeated detection of Cryptosporidium, a parasite that is particularly dangerous to those with compromised immune systems, casts a shadow over our so-called "pristine" water. Knowing that there are rusting pipes in various locations throughout the city added to my anxiety. as does the industrial waste and auto runoffs that pollute the water people swim in.Officials insist our water is safe--for most people.
But does that include me as I age and my immune system weakens? The long-delayed filtration project, intended to address this issue, is now postponed until at least 2027. It faces significant cost overruns that are likely to affect me through added taxes or higher water rates. Seniors on fixed incomes and low-income households will continue to be hit the hardest.
Reading Blue Gold by Maude Barlow and Tony Clarke was a turning point. The book revealed how multinational corporations met behind closed doors and declared that water should no longer be a basic right, but a commodity. They pushed to privatize public systems, bottle and sell water for profit, and even trade water futures on the Stock Market.
That knowledge was chilling. As I dug deeper, I uncovered stories of energy companies acquiring water rights, of family farmers being pushed off their land, and of groundwater being diverted to enrich already wealthy investors. Across the globe, millions are displaced or left to suffer due to water scarcity. In the Middle East, water has become a weapon that's used to control, subjugate, and destroy.
Drinking water is essential for survival. It comprises approximately 60% of the human body. We can survive only a few days without it. Despite knowing this, we've allowed greed to dictate access to this most essential resource. I believe, fiercely, that clean, accessible water is a human right.
That belief drove me to write The Water Factor, a fact-based thriller that aims to wake readers up. In the first chapter, I imagined a community forced to rely on trucked-in water. I assumed it was fiction-until I discovered it's a reality in many places, even in water-rich states like Hawaii. The more I researched, the more plausible and alarming my plot became.
Learning about water isn't easy. Utilities often dodge transparency laws. But there are nonprofits in most communities working to uncover the truth. I urge you: read The Water Factor, then dig into how your own water system works. Ask questions. Demand transparency. Because the right to water may be slipping through our fingers, and we need to act before it's too late.
Cool Water was a Cowboy Song,written by Bob Nolan in 1924 that became popular during the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression. This song was originally posted on protestsonglyrics.netI. I used to hear it occasionally when I was a kid. It goes like this. . .
All day I’ve faced a barren waste,
without the taste of water, cool water.
Old Dan(2) and I with throats burnt dry,
And souls that cry for water,
Cool, clear water.
This song was originally posted on protestsonglyrics.net
(CHORUS:)
Keep a-movin’, Dan,
Don’t you listen to him, Dan,
He’s a devil not a man,
And he spreads the burning sand with water.
Dan, can you see that big green tree,
Where the water’s running free,
And it’s waiting there for me,
And you?
The nights are cool and I’m a fool,
Each star’s a pool of water, cool water.
But with the dawn, I’ll wake and yawn,
And carry on to water,
Cool, clear water.
This song was originally posted on protestsonglyrics.net
(CHORUS)
The shadows sway and seem to say,
“Tonight we pray for water,
Cool water.”
And way up there He’ll hear our prayer,
And show us where there’s water,
Cool, clear water.
(CHORUS)
Dan’s feet are sore, he’s yearning for,
Just one thing more than water,
Cool water.
Like me, I guess, he’d like to rest,
Where there’s no quest for water,
Cool, clear water.
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The Water Factor is a Firebird International Award winner for best dystopian novel and a Literary Titan recipient for best thriller. Though fun to read, it carries a severe message about water scarcity. It is available in ebook, paperback, and audio formats. It can be purchased on AMAZON, Barnes & Noble, Powell's Books, and as an audiobook on Amazon, Audible, and iTunes. Ask your bookstore to order a copy from Ingram or buy from Annie Bloom’s Books in Multnomah Village.
7/4/2025 11:26:06 PM
FRACTURED AMERICA
Civil Discourse and Liberty
Civil discourse is becoming a rare commodity in today’s divided America. I recently witnessed how fragile it can be. I was in the lounge at the Subaru service center last week, waiting for the oil to be changed in my Forester. I struck up a conversation with a woman who was having a car inspected that she had inherited. Out of the blue, she mentioned how pleased she was that President Trump was “getting rid of immigrants—because most of them are criminals.”
Before I could respond, a man in his mid-thirties who had been quietly texting at a nearby table looked up. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I couldn’t help but overhear. I’m a teacher, and what ICE is doing is criminal. Black-clad, masked men enter schools without warning and take kids—sobbing and screaming—from classrooms. It’s cruelty.”
The woman looked stunned. “Oh no,” she said. “They wouldn’t do that.”
“What makes you think that?” I asked. “Did you hear that on Fox News?”
“I don’t watch Fox News,” she insisted. “I just know!”
At that point, another man—large, well-dressed, and clearly agitated—stood up and joined in. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, lady,” he said loudly. “They’re going after law-abiding immigrants. Some of them aren’t even here illegally. You need to get your head screwed on straight.”
The woman fired back, “Where are you getting your information? The Democrats pay people to spread false news. You can’t trust it.”
Caught in the middle, with voices rising and tempers flaring, I did my best to defuse the situation. I spoke gently to the woman, telling her that it's often hard to know what to believe, which is why I try to read news from a variety of sources and fact-check when stories don’t align. Yes, it takes time, but it’s worth the effort.
She softened slightly and listened, though from the way she avoided my eyes, I could tell she wasn’t likely to dig deeper on her own. The men, clearly agitated and ready to argue further, backed off when the service attendant arrived to say my car was ready.
Later that evening, I read an article quoting Chief Justice John Roberts. In statements covered by The New York Times, The Guardian, AP News, Fox News, MSNBC, and elsewhere, Roberts condemned the dangerous rhetoric being directed at judges. He warned that inflammatory language—especially from public figures like President Trump and Senator Chuck Schumer—can incite threats or acts of violence. His message was simple: judicial independence must be protected, and reckless speech undermines our democracy.
Whether in an auto service center or on the Senate floor, we must remember that we are Americans first. Political affiliation and policy disagreements will always exist, but our nation depends on compromise, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to truth. There is no room for hatred or inflammatory rhetoric to further divide what is already a fragile democracy.
This Fourth of July weekend, I hope we all take a moment to reflect on the foundation of our country. The Statue of Liberty was raised as a
beacon of freedom and democracy. Millions of immigrants arrived at its base, welcomed by the words:
“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…”
Let’s remember who we are and what we stand for, and have a happy fun-filled Fourth of July weekend.
