loving art, science and creative kids
11/20/2020 9:32:42 PM
Applauding the Blues
Beauty surround us, though sometimes alludes us, for we forget to open our eyes.
Lean into Love
Platitudes about love and happiness bother me. They make them sound easy to acquire. Love, contentment, and finding meaning requires thought and determination. Managing emotions, like most things in life, take effort. They may come naturally if you were fortunate nought to have parents who modeled positive emotions, but for many, good emotions are obtained by setting goals reached by trial and error.
Emotions are difficult to understand. Psychologists consider some, like romantic love, not to be emotions at all. They call them drives associated with feelings produced by activating neurons in the midbrain that secrete dopamine. Sound romantic? Rage, hate, and revenge fall into that category though anger is considered an emotion. Whether a drive or emotion, it is buried within, and can be triggered in positive and negative ways that influence the meaning you give to life.
Negative emotions (or drives) are difficult to change. Directives like “Lean into love and love will lean into you,” or “Have fun and you’ll be happy,” and "Live a meaningful life,” mean nothing to the person who is sad and has no idea what to do next and as most people know happiness is not the same as contentment. Behind directives are hidden implications that success comes from directing mind over matter. The message gets interpreted as, “Love is easily obtained by being loving (whatever that is). Happiness is within everyone's reach if you decide to have a positive outlook (find me one). Meaning in life? Well, you’re on your own.”
During my short career as a mental health counselor, I spoke to a mother unable to control anger. She lashed out by shouting and slapping her young children and was turned over to social services. Warned to control herself or have the kids taken away, she stared fearfully and hopelessly at the judge. She didn’t know how to stop the rage that welled up inside. The judge thought his harsh words would inspire the woman to change. She wanted to be kinder, and hated being angry all the time. But his advice was difficult to follow as a single mom stretched thin by poverty, exhausted by a manual job who faced rowdy children the moment she arrived home. Life was overwhelming and her brain no longer responded to reason.
So, how do you help a stressed woman generate positive emotions. How can she turn her anger into loving kindness when her responsibilities are overwhelming. For that matter, how does a person who lost a love-one get over the fear of being hurt by loss. Can love be found during a pandemic? Can happiness be found without resorting to drugs or short term solutions? A vacation or a party might make you happy, but those moments are fleeting. What tools do you need in your arsenal to go from apathy to love, from depression to contentment and make it last? These emotions are not as easily obtained as watching a blossom opening on a magnolia tree. People can’t just turn a switch or wait for the season to change to find love, happiness, or meaning in life. Whether it is by meditation or reaching out, action of some sort is required.
Let’s focus on love. There are rewards to being loved, feeling love and giving love. Love brings feelings of well being and emotions that keeps us in good spirit. There are tangible health benefits such as lower blood pressure, reduced anxiety, improved immunity, less pain and longer life. Love is good medicine, but to have it at you need to seek out positive relationships from a spouse, friend or even a pet, and avoid loneliness, a current day health hazard. If you don’t have love in your life and want it, it requires you to change your behavior.
Love is the opposite of possessiveness. You have to make yourself capable of giving and receiving it. It’s influenced by the way you deal with others and often starts by helping friends in need with their problems. Expressions of love evolve from appreciating someone else’s successes and being grateful to those who reach out to you. Love is thinking good things about a person and acting in a way to make that individual feel comfortable. It can’t be demanded or preserved.
Reaching out connects you to others, provides stability and security, and removes fear of being alone. As the relationship matures over time it has the chance of turning into a loving one. Doing good deeds tends to generate feelings of love. Doing them often, intensifies them and leads to a higher level of spiritual growth. The opposite is also true. Love won’t flow over a person filled with ego, anger and selfish tendencies, for negative emotions suppress the inner urge to love.
Love is a feeling. It fills us with happiness. Being in love triggers emotions that come out of an inner need to love. Unfortunately, the object of your love may not love you back. Irrespective of how the other person feels, the feeling of being in love resides in yourself alone. The object of your love can only be a facilitator to bring out the emotion that makes you happy. And, it cannot be taken in or felt unless you are open to it. But when you are, when you open your inner self, you feel light and joyful.
Love and happiness, like life itself, has ups and downs. It involves adjusting to changing situations and taking them in stride. To do so affects your relationships with others and the quality of your life. It is a mistake to think that love is trouble and pain free. It is not. You can love and lose the object of your affection due to circumstances beyond your control. Unrequited love can hurt. Yet, learning to live with its problems, understanding differences that arise as relationships mature, making changes in life style, and becoming tolerant are skills that enrich life to give it meaning. They take us beyond physical attraction to something deeper, and provide a contentment that flows through the days to give life meaning.
References:
Murphy, J. (2020) health benefits of being in love, according to researchers. MDLinx. retrieved from https://www.mdlinx.com/article/health-benefits-of-being-in-love-according-to-researchers/73jp3DJFZypxPMMBf2aawt
regard, B. (2015)
What is Love? (No, Really. What is it?) Psychology Today. retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201502/what-is-love-no-really-what-is-it
Cooper, A. (2018) The Emotions of Lov-more than meets the eye. Drive Global. retrieved from https://thriveglobal.com/stories/the-emotions-of-love/#:~:text=Love%20is%20a%20feeling%20of,to%20love%20and%20be%20loved.
Art is always for sale. Contact me at [email protected]
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11/14/2020 8:09:08 PM
FOREST CONVERSION
The forests were cut to make room for people. Humans inhabited and warmed the planet bringing about natures fury. Now, to have rich and meaningful lives, we must replant, reduce our carbon footprint, and develop new ways to exist in harmony with nature.
Why is it difficult to do what’s right?
We all require access to energy, food and healthcare at reasonable prices. To be happy we need to relax and have places to go where we can join others in community. We encourage our children to have dreams and enjoy helping them get realized. And, as adults, we believe we deserve salaries that will enable us to live without fear of landing on the streets do to a quirk of nature.
Unfortunately, our most ardent desires are easily shaken by natural events that bring disaster to communities and individuals. Floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, fires, droughts, and pandemic, to name a few, are becoming increasingly destructive. And, as in COVID's case, they can affect a large part of the globe's population.
If our goal is to live a rich fulfilling life, we need to pay more attention to events of nature that may disrupt dreams. Surprisingly, though we know that natural disasters are bound to occur, it is difficult to get motivated to prepare for emergencies. Most of us are procrastinators.
As chair of an emergency planning committee, I've learned that getting people to plan for unexpected events is as difficult as getting people to wear masks at the start of a pandemic. Humanity prefers to wait until tragedy strikes before acting, which may not be catastrophic if you are wealthy. If you are middle income or poor, it could be devastating and require those with money to help assist if they don't want their streets completely taken over by homelessness and illnesses like typhoid.
Our country was fore warned of the possibility a global pandemic by scientists, yet was of little interest to the general public. And, though the Obama administration did develop a plan for dealing with a pandemic, it was defunded by the Trump administration. What they did is not unusual. Plans made in the heat of the moment are often shoved to the of back file cabinets and never reviewed again.
Few Americans have rainy day funds in anticipation of a disaster. They don't carry emergency kits in their cars or have a five day supply of water in their homes. Those living in earthquake or flood prone areas may carry extra insurance a year or two after an event, but tend to drop it a few years later.
Scientists repeatedly say that disasters caused by climate change will get only worse. Though it already impact millions of people, those unaffected become angry with eco-migrants waiting at our borders. They ignore projections about future migrations despite the fact that a billion people will be affected. I never hear talk about how to accommodate people fleeing climate tragedies, though there will be ramifications for every town in every country with a habitable climate. Before long, doing nothing will not be an option.
I don't appreciate how President Trump made people doubt science, yet I do marvel at his ability to attract followers who take his word over that of experts. One thing he does is paint a rosy picture of the future. Imagine what would happen if his marketing skills were used to inspire people think critically and seek truth. Since nature will continue to throw unexpected events our way, what if we changed tactics? Rather than present doom and gloom futures, lets frame arguments that show ways to develop richer, more satisfying lives
For instance, rather than say, "burning gasoline produces carbon that warms the planet, causing rising waters, wild storms and fires," say, "electric cars will make cities quieter and the air cleaner giving you a better quality of life." When discussing energy, point out ways we have cut energy consumption so people think we are headed in the right direction. Cell phones and computers, for example, enable us to communicate world wide instead of having to travel to see family or business partners in gas guzzling cars and airplanes.
Instead of asking people not to drive gasoline guzzling cars, build transportation networks that are safe, clean, comfortable, and less expensive than owning several vehicles. Small electric busses (Jitneys) moving through neighborhoods on frequent schedules are safer to be in, less polluting, and easier to manipulate than large buses. Ask city planners to redesign streets to accommodate family sized driverless buses like those starting to be used in Taiwan and London. Many of these vehicles will travel on specially designated lanes that make travel safer with fewer accidents.
Jitney Self Driving Bus
Let's get rid of trolley tracks that are the source of many casualties and make bike lanes as safe for children as they are in the Netherlands so they don’t have to be bussed to school. Health benefits from cycling and walking are significant and go far to connect people to their communities.
When the pandemic ends, many business will continue to have their employees work from home. Workers will share desks and computers and mainly come to headquarters for in-person conferences. Companies will save a great deal of money with these hybrid measures. Stress will decrease with fewer cars on the road and health will improve when people don't have to share crowded elevators with sneezing riders.
We don't need fear messages calling us to lock out eco-migrants. Instead we need to find a way to integrate them into our communities, teach them our language and share values rather than pushing them into ghettos. Migrants are not pariahs, but simply people forced to face catastrophic change. And-global warming will force everyone to change with them. Migrants will have to be accommodated, not only by us, but by countries throughout the globe.
Climate change is not a problem we can solve by ourselves. It is an international crisis that requires countries to work together to find solutions. Migrants need to shelter, food, employment and to be educated into the host country's way of life. Accommodating them will give construction workers jobs, provide income for landlords, outlets for farm produce, and sales for retail stores. If we make our guests are happy, we will be happy too. Nature is not bringing about the end of the world, but the beginning of a entirely new way of being.
Art is always for sale. Contact me at [email protected].
Forest Conversion - Acrylic on Canvas / 28” x 22” x 2” / $399.
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11/6/2020 6:56:33 PM
Hawthorn Tree
Trees of beauty can also carry thorns. I like to study them Instead of staying glued to television during the election I chose to spend time in my studio painting out frustrations. It is a place go to remind myself that people are basically good.
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Biden won, but many people are angry. This is especially true of gun wielding, flag flying middle age men. The 2020 presidential election pointed out ways our country is divided, but addressing the fury of so many citizens needs to be tackled immediately. I believe that doing so will reduce unrest and bigotry and make it better for everyone.
Non-Hispanic white men without a college degree are committing suicide in record numbers and their concerns need to be addressed. There have been many research papers written over the past five years that focus on white working-class Americans in their 40s and 50s who are dying of suicide, alcoholism and drug abuse. Their high death rates contrast sharply from those of college graduates. They are having a particularly difficult time adjusting to changes brought about by the Fourth Industrial Revolution-the one we are in now.
Though I've mentioned this concern in previous blogs, I feel it is important enough a subject to dig deeper into their plight. Uneducated white men, fearing loss of masculinity, often wind up joining militias and participating in acts of intimidation. Lies told at the expense of minority groups bolster them into believing they are not at the bottom of society's totem pole. Unable to adapt to the new reality brought on by advanced technology, they are angry, frustrated and follow QAnon conspiracies with the misguided idea that they will hold back change.
Though European countries face the same kind of technological change, men are not killing themselves with guns, drugs or alcohol. The United States is unique in the dramatic way inequality has risen while middle-class incomes have stagnated more than in Europe, Japan, or Asia. As large corporations increased their market share worldwide they left workers with little bargaining power. Outsourcing remains the norm as executives seek low-wage workers over developing company loyalty.
Days lack structure, status and meaning for many middle- and low-income Americans. Those who are employed, don't always know what days or hours they will work each week so it is difficult to make leisure time plans. Lack of loyalty to their employer or business frequently translates into lack of pride in the work they do.
There was a time when the corporation or institution a person worked for gave meaning to the person's life. Miners and factory workers identified with the company that employed them, knowing they would work there for life. Today they rarely have the same connection and fear they are expendable to executives looking for ways to reduce costs.
Other factors come into play as well. Men without college degrees are less likely to attend church and less likely to get married. They register a high degree of chronic pain and they find it difficult to do basic things like climb a flight of stairs or socialize. Since they are unhappier they drink and use drugs to excess leading to obesity and heart disease.
How can these men be helped to transition through the latest technological revolution? We need to start with empathy for their plight. Imagine how difficult it must have been to go from a horse and buggy agrarian society to life in cities with steam engines, automobiles and assembly line factories. The present economic revolution is equally difficult and already alters the way we live, work and relate to one another. Breakthroughs in artificial intelligence and biotechnology are happening at a faster rate than most people can keep up with, making adjustment difficult. Set against a background of warming environment we are called to transform entire systems of production, management, and governance at breakneck speed.
One way to help people adjust is to keep big business from maximizing profits at the expense of their workers. Inequality is sited as the greatest societal concern associated with the Fourth Industrial Revolution. Antitrust laws need to be enforced and there needs to be an evolved form of labor unions to deal with management.
Added to labor issues is the fact that the United States suffers by far from having the world's most expensive health-care system. It drains resources that could be more productively spent on schools, daycare, roads and public transit. And, despite high costs, the American medical system fails to keep large segments of society healthy.Last but not least is the need to reform our healthcare system.To do so, politicians will have to do a better job explaining to the public why our current system does not work. The health of our citizens should be a higher priority than the wealth of the those working in the industry.
Education, though, is at the core of preparing present and future generations to survive. To insure everyone is educated, government will have step in and subsidize four-year college degrees and meaningful vocational training. People in their thirties and forties need to be drawn into a massive effort to get them retrained. A demand for highly skilled workers will continue to increase while the demand for workers with less education and lower skills will only decrease.
But, education is not just a matter of machine learning. Things that set people apart from machines, such as how to work collaboratively to solve real world challenges and gaining an understanding of different cultural needs and perspectives have to be taught.
Now that social scientists better understand what is happening to uneducated white men, we can put our heads together and solve this problem. It is time to act aggressively and compassionately as a nation in order to move it forward. I have hope.
References:
Brown-Martin,G.(2018) Education and the Fourth Industrial Revolution . Learning to thrive in a transforming world. Keynote talk at Regenerative Global. retrieved from https://medium.com/regenerative-global/education-and-the-fourth-industrial-revolution-cd6bcd7256a3
MacGillis, A. and ProPublica. The Original Underclass.The Atlantic. retrieved from https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/09/the-original-underclass/492731/
Reed, I. (2018) the Plight of the White American Male. Haaretz. retrieved from https://www.haaretz.com/opinion/.premium-the-plight-of-the-white-american-male-1.5444194
Schwab, K, (2016)The Fourth Industrial Revolution:What it means, how to respond. World Economic Forum. retrieved from https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2016/01/the-fourth-industrial-revolution-what-it-means-and-how-to-respond/
Leonhardt,D. & Thompson, s. (2020) How working-Class Life is Killing Americans, in charts. New York Times. retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/03/06/opinion/working-class-death-rate.html
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Over The Peanut Fence is a book about homeless and runaway, focuses on problems of traumatized youth, many of whom experience lasting effects of PTSD. Over the past twenty years we have learned a lot about developing brains and are learning how to help them overcome barriers to having a successful life. Join me on November 17th at 7pm PST for a book talk sponsored by Lake Oswego Library. To register and receive information about how to connect on zoom go to https://www.ci.oswego.or.us/library/third-tuesday-author-marilynne-eichinger-0?date=0 and register.
